Featured in Harpers (number 65, 26/08/11): Ted Sandbach of Oxford Wine attempting to strangle our beloved Chris Piper and then pretending that it was an attempt to rescue him from choking. Witnesses claim that the other two directors of CPW present at the time did not leap into immediate action but, allegedly, sat and watched with considerable interest. Conspiracy theories abound here in Ottery St Mary! Rest assured, Ted, there’s a long queue of CPW droids ready and waiting to ‘pat’ Chris between the shoulder blades, with a clenched fist (knives are not allowed), the next time that this happens. All of us with current First Aid certificates were specifically taught how to do this so it’s got to be kosher.
In the same issue: a Mandelson-like interview with Peter Jago of Penfolds. What a delightful photo but I am very concerned about that huge jet of flame bursting out of his right ear. Is there a mini-Smaug nestling in his ear canal or perhaps he needs to wind back the % abv on the Grange just a touch?